Not Very Talented

If you’re familiar with the Internets you have probably already seen this abomination to music. Brockencyde is the toxic byproduct of irritating Myspace culture and rich kid Hip-Hop, and it is a spreading, debilitating disease that is infecting the youth of our country. If you’re a parent and you find your children listening to this ‘band’, it would be child abuse NOT to smack them in the head with a spoon. Readers beware, this music will not grow on you- It will grow INSIDE of you in the form of a brain tumor.

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Recipe for a musical disaster: A drunk keyboard player, a vocalist who can only sing one note, and a disagreement in the middle of the song between the guitar player and the drummer over who could play the crappiest solo. The only thing that would have saved this performance is if Gob from Arrested Development busted out of the bass drum and started performing magical ‘illusions’. Note the children running away at the very beginning of their performance. Thank God nobody was around to hear them.

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So driving while talking on your cell phone’s illegal and this isn’t? Even with the car out of the equation, these mofos need to be locked up for the following offenses: sporting an ironically not-at-all-ironic mustache, being seen with the Crazy Town reject riding shotgun, driving under the influence of hipster hats, inappropriate use of “special effects,” and just sucking it up in general. Guilty as charged.

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Yeah, like you didn’t experiment in college? Remember that one night with those scallops? Woo! But that’s different from Katy Parody’s sitch here: She not only kissed a lobster but also liked it – so much so that she’s giving us ear crabs. Antibiotics can’t cure this burning.