So driving while talking on your cell phone’s illegal and this isn’t? Even with the car out of the equation, these mofos need to be locked up for the following offenses: sporting an ironically not-at-all-ironic mustache, being seen with the Crazy Town reject riding shotgun, driving under the influence of hipster hats, inappropriate use of “special effects,” and just sucking it up in general. Guilty as charged.
Yeah, like you didn’t experiment in college? Remember that one night with those scallops? Woo! But that’s different from Katy Parody’s sitch here: She not only kissed a lobster but also liked it – so much so that she’s giving us ear crabs. Antibiotics can’t cure this burning.
Screw rolling over in his grave – I’m pretty sure our pal Francis Scott Key is clawing at the inside of his coffin right now. Oh, and as for those pesky lyrics, aren’t they right in front of you on the podium, fellah? Isn’t that what’s on the piece of paper you keep looking at? Or perhaps it just says, “Note to self: Don’t fuck this up.” Or maybe it’s a printout of one of those Hawtness ladies for inspiration. The world may never know.
Once again, it’s our old pal Shane, looking like an air traffic controller and sounding like, well, Shane. And – wait for it – he brought sheet music this time, beyotches. The planes can wait.
@notverytalented
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