Recipe for a musical disaster: A drunk keyboard player, a vocalist who can only sing one note, and a disagreement in the middle of the song between the guitar player and the drummer over who could play the crappiest solo. The only thing that would have saved this performance is if Gob from Arrested Development busted out of the bass drum and started performing magical ‘illusions’. Note the children running away at the very beginning of their performance. Thank God nobody was around to hear them.
Yeah, like you didn’t experiment in college? Remember that one night with those scallops? Woo! But that’s different from Katy Parody’s sitch here: She not only kissed a lobster but also liked it – so much so that she’s giving us ear crabs. Antibiotics can’t cure this burning.
Screw rolling over in his grave – I’m pretty sure our pal Francis Scott Key is clawing at the inside of his coffin right now. Oh, and as for those pesky lyrics, aren’t they right in front of you on the podium, fellah? Isn’t that what’s on the piece of paper you keep looking at? Or perhaps it just says, “Note to self: Don’t fuck this up.” Or maybe it’s a printout of one of those Hawtness ladies for inspiration. The world may never know.
Once again, it’s our old pal Shane, looking like an air traffic controller and sounding like, well, Shane. And – wait for it – he brought sheet music this time, beyotches. The planes can wait.
I could mock Eli – yes, Eli from the class of 2005 – hit the easy target, but instead let us all tune in for the following finer points:
- My boy Marv-O looks like he’s at sea, a very rough sea at that, and will soon be in need of some motion sickness meds.
- Marv-O’s sea-worthy movements are so out of control he has to hold tightly to Jeremy (aka J-Dub) the whole time.
- A little heads up to Envy: Cripple doesn’t actually rhyme with cripple. Perhaps ripple, triple, nipple – any of these would be acceptable substitutes.
- At the 2:06 mark, Envy exhibits his greatest talent of all – making his arms disappear. Sadly, they are never seen again.
- “That was great. It had to better than last time,” says my boy Marv-O. What exactly happened last time? Did one of the rappers pee his pants?
@notverytalented
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