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Video by: Worst Radio Show Ever, hands down via Submit a Video

Recipe for Tramp Scamp:
1 black leotard from 1988, wedgie optional
1 wig from Splash
A dash of crack

Still need a costume idea for Saturday? At all costs, avoid throwing on a long brown wig, toting around a framed picture of Billy Ray Cyrus, throwing peace signs and twanging, “It’s Miley, y’all!” Why would you when you can go as Creepy Clown Girl (pictured above)? Note: You’ll need a pal with you dressed as the TV.

Why the mask, Creepy Clown Girl? Were you embarrassed about being seen reenacting Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video? You couldn’t have been as embarrassed as your co-dancer, who opted only to have her hand pictured, or the TV, who really had no say in its starring role in the performance, or Purina, which accidentally sponsored the whole thing.

Here’s why this guy makes my stomach turn: It’s not the sight of his pasty, shirtless man boobs – or his equally pasty butt (at the 1:24 and 1:28 marks if you want to shield your eyes). It’s not the erratic, spazzy dance moves. It’s not even the off-base lewd gestures – though, sure, all those things definitely help. It’s the strong hunch I have that this guy sees this as serious foreplay for the sex he’ll obviously never have with women he’ll probably never meet – unless they happen to wander into his windowless basement apartment. As you know, his parents live right upstairs.

In honor of Halloween this week, I give you something even scarier than the new scariest movie in the history of ever. No one since tigers has paired black and orange together so brilliantly, all while dancing her face off. Shockingly, this is the exact same routine and outfit that did not earn her a callback for Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” video. Clearly our loss.

The sleeves remained behind as conscientious objectors in the losing battle for this man’s dignity. Unfortunately, he thinks the only problem arose when he kicked himself in the head. His legs were simply trying to do him a favor.